Our Firstborn

I am a firstborn. I am stong-willed.

Jason is a firstborn. He is stong-willed.

Caroline is our firstborn. So the poor girl never really stood a chance.

To say she is strong-willed and opinionated is like saying I only somewhat enjoy Diet Coke. It's a gross understatement.

Combine all that with her sharp little mind, and she can be a force. She has, at all times, a precise picture in her mind of how things ought to go. And when we have to break the news that things won't be going her way, she doesn't always take that news so well. Over the past few weeks, Caroline has upped the ante by realizing just how powerful her words can be. Phrases like, "It's not fair" and "I don't like you" have entered her vocabulary.

And while it's nothing too serious, it's also not acceptable. We're doing our best to nip it in the bud.

A couple weeks ago, we were in the grocery store, just the two of us. And I felt like I was shopping with a drunk monkey. She was not listening, kept grabbing things when she positively knew better, and just generally giving me a hard time.

When we got in the car I was so frustrated that I started to cry, and I'm not really a crier. I felt like a total failure, like I was not getting anything right when it came to raising this girl. Like I just hadn't found the key to effectively disciplining her.

And when Caroline saw that I was crying, she got really upset, almost panicked. This was our conversation:

"Mom, Mom, keep your tears."

"I'm just feeling a little sad, sweetheart."

"Well, just tell God you are sad."

"That's a very good idea."

"Will it help if I say I love you?"

"Yes."

"I do love you."

Then she folded her hands and bowed her head and prayed, "God, my Mommy feels sad." She popped her head up and said, "God said He will make you feel better."

And He did.

I still don't have all the answers to raising a girl who is so much like me. It's a daunting task. But it seems that somewhere along the way Caroline has learned empathy and that you can turn to God when things go wrong.

And that is a pretty good place to start.