Forgetful

**I wrote this post in mid-February, not long after my 12-week check-up. My expanding waist and the baby's little acrobatics (which I love!) are making it harder to forget that I'm expecting!**

I keep forgetting that I'm pregnant. Not in a "Sure I can go bungee-jumping with you" kind of way. But in an "Ooops, I almost ate a bunch of deli meat" kind of way.

Today I was on the phone with a really good friend who didn't yet know I was pregnant. Halfway through our conversation I actually thought to myself "Oh, yeah, I should tell her about the baby." And then I just blurted it out like I was mentioning a new recipe.

It's kind of funny that after my first sonogram I wrote about how every new baby is a big darn deal. And indeed, they are. Now I'm confessing that I sometimes find myself reminding myself about the baby. And indeed, I do.

Partly it's because I'm in that in-between stage of pregnancy where I'm no longer nauseous and tired, but I'm not yet feeling the baby kick while maneuvering around a big belly. It's also (and mostly) because I'm already so consumed with the results of my first two pregnancies. I spend my time focused on Caroline and Charlotte and trusting that this new little life is growing and happy right where he or she is.

Of course it was a whole different ballgame when I was pregnant with Caroline. Being pregnant consumed my thoughts. I ran to my books every time I felt a twinge. I worried for no logical reason that something dreadful had happened to the baby. I tried very hard not to be obnoxious, but I loved when people asked about my pregnancy just so I could talk about it.

And even though it's different on this third go around, much is still the same. I still got butterflies at my last doctor's appointment while I waited for her to come listen for the heartbeat. I was twelve weeks along, and as soon as the Doctor came in with her Doppler she said, "Now remember, it's early. If we can't find the heartbeat, don't panic. We'll do a sonogram." And I remembered. At the same appointment with Charlotte, that's exactly what happened. It was a very long few minutes.

But the instant (and I mean the INSTANT) she laid the Doppler on my belly we heard the little hoofbeats of a strong heart. She made a joke about this being a very obedient baby, and I breathed a big sigh of relief and gratitude.

Very soon I'll be feeling very pregnant in my maternity pants with little feet in my ribs while the temperature climbs to the stratosphere. The kids will ask to play outside and I'll agree only if I can take a tub of ice water to sit in. I'll still be nesting like a psychopath (after all, some things don't change). In the meantime, I'm enjoying these days where I'm cool and comfortable and feeling well. And I'm looking forward to all that lies ahead. Because even if you've done it before the whole thing is just remarkable.